The One that Got Away

It's been while, and we did finally hear back about the house on Monday. We didn't get it. The seller decided to go with the other offer. We're assuming it's the same offer that came in the weekend we made our initial offer. In my opinion, this was all very bad real estate. The sellers were entertaining two offers at a time. While there is, admittedly, no law or even rule against doing that, it's just rude. I waited a long time to update the blog because I was very broken up about the news. I got it when I was at work, and had to go to my car to call my mother because I knew I was going to burst out in tears, which was precisely what happened. I didn't want my students, my co-workers, or heaven forbid my bosses to see me crying at work. I was downtrodden the rest of the day, cried a little more here and there. Going home, while sitting at a stoplight, I could see our apartment complex, and our apartment from the street, and I have never looked at our current home with more disdain and resentment. It was the last place I wanted to be, but the place I really wanted to be was not going to be mine. When I got home from work I just went to sleep. I didn't want to even look at more houses online. When I got the call from our agent, he told me that the seller wanted to keep our offer on the table as a back-up in case the other one fell through. We talked about it and decided to simply keep our options open and let them keep the offer. We can retract it if we decide to put an offer in elsewhere. I like to think of things in analogies, which you may notice over time if you continue to read. And at the time that I heard this, that the sellers had asked to keep our offer on the table, I felt like a girlfriend, and my boyfriend was saying to me "Hey, so listen to this. I'd like to go sleep with this other woman. In fact, I think I might want HER to be my new girlfriend, not you. But would you mind taking me back later in case that plan doesn't work out? You can sleep around if you want...but I might call you." Lots of my friends on Facebook said we'll find something even better. Which is all very nice of them to say, but I don't really believe them. My Mom told me I can't get so emotionally attached to the houses we see. As far as I'm concerned though, if I don't feel emotionally attached to a house, we should not be trying to buy it. And when it came to looking for more houses, I became very bitter toward everyone around me, for no good reason, I admit. I felt as though I was like a person who had lost a well loved pet, and everyone around me was telling me, "oh, that dog wasn't good enough anyway! You can find a NEW dog!" Then, I was being forced to be the one to go look for the new puppy, because we're going to need a dog eventually, and no one else is willing to look." I did eventually get back to looking at more homes on the web, drove around some neighborhoods with my Mom, showed some to Adam, and emailed our agent today. We'll probably do some looking next weekend. I'm a little afraid of how it will go, looking at more. I'm afraid I will be angry and annoyed with it all, no longer optimistic about finding our new home. I have a feeling that I am going to be skeptical that if we put an offer in, we wouldn't actually get it. I feel as though any house I actually want, we won't get, so in order to get a house, it has to be something that I don't really want. Much like the boyfriend analogy I used above, I guess it's like being broken up with. When someone dumps you suddenly, someone you really liked and who you thought would stay with you (for about 48 hours, I truly believed we were going to get that house) you feel like no one will ever be as good as that person. No one in the world could have been more right for you. But then, you get out there, and you see other people. You start to realize your last boyfriend only had one bathroom and his kitchen was small, you had to duck to avoid hitting your head going into the basement. And also, he wouldn't rub your feet. Next time, I'll find one who will rub my feet.